BALTIMORE -- A team of doctors and cognitive researchers issued a joint statement Thursday detailing “pressing concerns” regarding recently retired Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s health, claiming the Republican starlet “may be too stupid to live much longer.”
At a press conference in johns Hopkins Medical Center, neurologist Rajib L. Shaktakarian spoke for the group as he listed off a number of observed symptoms, including aphasia, memory loss, delusions, and “general idiocy,” which “seem to be worsening by the day,” judging by recent public statements.
“Normally,” said Dr. Shaktakarian, “these symptoms might indicate a stroke or series of strokes, but judging by her apparent bodily health, and the lack of facial drooping or motor-neuron impairment, we have concluded that Palin is suffering from a severe case of clinical stupidity, which we fear may be terminal.”
Shannon Barkley, a professor of Cognitive Neuropsychology at Johns Hopkins, warned Palin’s condition could become dire in the very near future. “Given the nearly random, disjointed nature of her speech patterns, and her astounding misunderstandings of the basic facts of life and reality, it’s really only a matter of time before she forgets how to breathe or pump blood to her vital organs,” said Barkley. “Frankly, I’m amazed she’s still alive today.”
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1 comment:
That's about the nastiest bitchiest comment on a person in public office that I have ever heard. Who on earth will vote for her now?
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